Thursday, November 12, 2009

Right-wing America's newest sweetheart refuses to discuss her most touching moment

So Carrie Prejean, right-wing traditionalist and new Palin BFF was on Larry King Live last night promoting her new book when the senile CNN host suffered a senior moment and forgot the pre-determined interview conditions.

Using the same tone her mentor Palin used when she found McCain wandering around outside the Straight Talk Express in just his bathrobe and underwear, Prejean scolded Larry King, reminding him that they'd agreed beforehand that she would a.) not take phone calls and b.) would not discuss a certain tape of her getting all solo-sexual.

"You're being extremely inappropriate," Prejean said, speaking slowly and deliberately when an obviously befuddled Larry King tried to discuss the tape.

Poor Larry! To be called out by such a Paragon of Virtue right in prime time like that? I can only imagine his embarrassment.

I kept hoping that Larry King would redeem himself and do something Prejean would deem appropriate, like masturbating in front of the camera. Of course, he's so off his game these days he'd probably just make it worse by masturbating with his left hand instead of the morally acceptable right one.

Personally, I don't see why Prejean is so upset about this. The Bible says to "love your neighbor as you love yourself," right? And Carrie loves her neighbors - well, the straight ones anyway - so it only follows that she should love herself. And what better way to prove it than with a home movie?

Not since the 1973 classic The Exorcist has someone mixed masturbation and religion in such a twisted manner. She should be proud.

So to Carrie Prejean I only have this to say. "Please don't go away. Stay. You are everything I've come to expect from a right wing icon. You go, girl."


Andrea said...

They just make this too fucking easy. It's like they're not even trying anymore.

I mean, what did she think the interview was going to be about, how awesome God is? Bible verses dictating how and when it's okay for a Christian woman to strut about in bikini and heels? The deep theological implications of a bad tit job?

Like I said earlier, homegirl needs to be masturbating a lot more frequently. Takes the edge off, dontcha know.

On the other hand, maybe she's just a big Divinyls fan.

Morgan said...


I LOVE the DiVinyls! Don't sully them by mentioning them in the same context as Prejean. It's blasphemous, I tell you! Blasphemous.

You're right though, they're making it just way, way to easy now. The right wing is the gift that just keeps on giving.

On the other hand, it's nice to see a girl like this coming into her own. ;-)

Christopher said...

While it's fun that they make it so easy it's disturbing that they seem to keep getting away with it. Prejean cries "I'm being attacked!" and suddenly everyone feels compelled to back off. It's this weird dance going on.

Oh, and thanks for reminding me of the DiVinyls. That song is now stuck in my head--which is great because it's a fun song, and also because it's replaced "Hey Mickey".

Morgan said...

Christopher, I don't think anyone's buying it, not even the right wingers. I mean, the hardcore ones are but I think a lot of them have to be embarrassed, I don't care how hard Hannity shills for her.

At least one Christian group canceled her speaking appearance after news of the sex tape surfaced.

Andrea said...

True, Chris. It's annoying as hell. They get to spew their hallowed opinions, and when someone rightly points out that said opinion is bullshit, suddenly it becomes persecution of Christians.

If Carrie Palms had any sense, she'd spin this as a consenting adult issue, and a masturbation is good and harmless issue. But, like Palin, her public religiousity has become quite the inconvenient cross to bear when words don't match actions.

And I thought it was like 20 sex tapes, not just one?

Morgan said...

Twenty? Twenty? Damn she must be sore.

Andrea said...

TMZ reports that the ex-bf is saying that Carrie sent him 15-20 tapes. Who knows. Wouldn't surprise me in the least.

Larry King masturbating? Hannity hard? Can a girl die of revulsion?

Morgan said...

That makes my hand hurt.

And I don't want to think of chubby Sean Hannity with a chubby.

Andrea said...

I think she should hire herself out as a dj...she probably spins records like a motherfucker.

Christopher said...

I know one group canceled her speaking appearance, although isn't it sad that they booked her in the first place? I guess some people get off on being lied to.

What I've heard, though, is that she sent her boyfriend a lot of explicit pictures and videos, and that she was twenty at the time she made the tape. That's taken the wind out of the sails of all those right-wingers who, every time the subject of her first tape has come up, cry, "Liberals are now in favor of child pornography!" The logic of that cry has baffled me, though, since it's right-wingers who've been defending Carrie's right to, um, expose herself.

Anonymous said...

Now that her sex tape is out, can we call her "Carrie NoJeans?"

Just wondering...

Roland said...

We all want to look good.
So we lie.
Some of us try to make others bad to look good.
So we persecute.

It's sad she can't admit to being able to enjoy herself.
It's also sad that we feel such a need to say, "I told you so."

And I like the Divinyls song too. :)

Morgan said...

I think that is a brilliant idea!

Morgan said...

Roland, I don't see Carrie Prejean as being persecuted. She's not a martyr, which is really a good thing because I can't imagine anything messier than masturbating with a stigmata.

The reason people are going after Prejean is that she set herself up as some sort of moralist with a self-endowed mandate to lecture to the rest of us about right and wrong.

She says she stands up for Christian values and then she lies openly about her past. She judges others for their sexual habits and then turns around and sends a tape of herself masturbating to a boyfriend. I'm not going to say that's immoral, but it is stupid.

No one has a problem with Prejean sexing herself up. I sure don't. But if you tape the incident and send it to your boyfriend you're risking a real rock slide once you climb up on the moral high ground.

She has no one to blame for where she is now except Carrie Prejean.

On an unrelated note, it is good to see you still around. I've missed you!

laughingwolf said...

'masturbation'? is that kinda sorta like a hand job? :O lol

Morgan said...

Why yes, my dear Wuff. But in Carrie's case it turned out to be a stroke of bad luck.

Andrea said...

How hypersensitive does one have to be to call this persecution? Prejean is the one trying to sue for a million bucks.

She calls herself a conservative but refuses to take personal responsibility. I couldn't care less about her rubbing off on camera. Some of us are just a wee bit tired of the "do as I say, not as I do" crowd.

Morgan said...

The persecution argument is lost on me, too. And when you consider people who *really* have been persecuted for their beliefs like, say, THE JEWS, hearing someone say that Prejean is a victim of persecution makes me feel kind of icky.

Andrea said...

Check out HP...she is now saying that her tit job was totally biblical. Maybe her implants are filled with holy water.

Morgan said...

ROFL. Andrea, you should write comedy.

And verily, on the eighth day the Lord said, "Let there be silicone.."

And I wonder why my right wing friends don't stick around to debate the issues....

Andrea said...

I wish I could take credit for the holy water bit, but I think I read some variant of it at HP.

I think I'll start calling her Bible Boobs now, and I haven't heard that anywhere else yet :)

(Btw, you have my old blog in your links, and I have a new post up.)

I almost feel sorry for the tighty righties...don't know how they've managed to go off the deep end in such a shallow pool, but they've done it.

Roland said...

We attack or persecute that which we find abhorant.
Like people who are too stuck on themselves. Like this Prejean person.
Its good to know she is hypocritical. But it just makes me realize that we like to tear down more than build up.
Imagine the wonder, if she actually could feel comfortable enough to say, "Some people pointed out in a kind way that I should enjoy my alone time with me more."
But if she reads this, she will just become more defensive and even more hypocritical.
I suppose we are helping to mold her to something that we can dislike.
As I said. Persecute. Whether she deserves it or not. She may be needing a swift kick in the pants. But I don't see our country ever coming together. Just attacking 'the other side' and making sure they look bad.
I think our politicians are rubbing off on us. ;)

Andrea said...

I'm tempted to call her Jesus Jugs now.

Anonymous said...

Given your proclivity to skewer Ms. Palin, I could see this!

I don't think Prejean's a hypocrite simply because I don't think she has enough moral underpining to be capable of hypocricy.

She's an attention whore, plain and simple. I have no doubt she knew *excactly* what she was doing when she answered the gay marriage question the way she did, and I don't think it had anything to do with her so-called beliefs.

She knew that whether she won or lost, she'd have the limelight to herself for the next few months. Does anyone even remember the name of the girl who won?

Once she realizes her right-wing facade has gone up in flames, she'll find an audience somewhere else. She obviously has no problem with disrobing to get attention, so look for her to go into (or should I say back to) soft-core porn.

Morgan said...

Roland, I'm trying to follow your reasoning and it's really making me want a drink.

If I apply your logic to, say, a preacher who is banging another man's wife, then rather than "persecuting" him or "tearing him down" we should be making them comfortable enough with what he's doing to step forward and say, "You know, I really love having sex with Deacon Jones' wife! Can I get an "amen?"

But we don't do it that way because it is not acceptable for a preacher to sleep with another man's wife is it, is it? If he has those urges, that's one thing. But he can't be taken seriously as a preacher if he's going to do that. Once he's been found out then he has to face the consequences. And let me stop and define consequences as things the right wing wants everyone but themselves to deal with.

It's not the guy's love of sex that would be under fire, Roland. It would be his hypocrisy that would be attacked. Or, as you like to term it, "persecuted."

I still urge you to go to a Holocaust Web site and look at people who have really been persecuted. The Jews were minding their own business when they were rounded up and killed. That, Roland, is persecution.

What Carrie Prejean is facing is exposure and public derision for her lies. If I'm not mistaken, the church is supposed to hold people accountable for this kind of behavior. Is that persecution? Or have you guys managed to remove that from the Bible?

I'm kind of surprised that the people on the right are so silent about this. Is a young woman who sends videotape close-ups of herself touching her genitals to her boyfriend really the kind of role model that you want for your daughters?

It's getting where I don't understand Christians at all, even if I still like quite a few of them.

Morgan said...

Anon, you may have a point. And if you are correct then the right wing is composed of an even more pathetic lot of followers. It's one thing to ignore be lied to; it's another to ignore be flagrantly used.

Christopher said...

Morgan, I may be misreading Roland's argument, but I think that maybe it's specifically about some personal attacks that have been levelled against Prejean. The one that immediately comes to mind is Perez Hilton calling her "a stupid bitch". Personally I think calling her a "bitch" was unnecessary, but it's also difficult to separate the views from the person. Some people will say they "hate the sin but love the sinner", which is a nice idea, but many of them seem to love the sinner the way Ike loved Tina.

My problem with the idea that "we are helping to mold her to something that we can dislike" is that it absolves Prejean of responsibility. In citing her grandfather who fought at the Battle of the Bulging Same-Sex Marriage, Prejean tried to claim for herself the right to state her views without being subject to any criticism. Walking off Larry King's show was just her latest demonstration of that attitude.

That's what frustrates me more than anything else: Prejean wants to have her prejudiced cake and eat it too.

Andrea said...

I couldn't follow that logic either. If making fun of someone is an attack, then I guess Mark Twain was a war criminal, eh?

Maybe we should be nice to Carrie. After all, she lets a gay man fix her hair!

Roland said...

Not saying, "Make them comfortable," Morg.
Just saying we seem to take much glee from the stupidity of others.
I never said to take her seriously.
Goodness! That would be just as bad!
I am trying to point out that we seem to revel in others failings.

None of us seem to enjoy it when it happens to us, but we enjoy it when it happens to "them".

Does that make more sense?

Andrea said...

This is not just about laughing at stupidity, this is about scorning her for her hypocrisy. Lots of famous people get made fun of for being stupid as shit, like Paris Hilton. But afaik, Paris is not a raging hypocrite. Which is really the key part of the equation here.

Not mention...who likes a liar? Come on, what the fuck.

JohnR said...

OMG, Morgan, Sarah's book has been out for 24 hours and America hasn't collapsed and not even a comment from you or the other Palin birthers.

Morgan said...

John, I'm actually enjoying the hype. The more the right wing inflates the Sarah Balloon, the more of them that will be blown away by the force of her popping. I'm going to enjoy sitting back and listening to Fox News seek to justify what she's done.

JohnR said...

I see more of a slow leak than a pop with lots of cool sounds made by manipulating the hole where you put the air in.

What is that thing called anyway?

Anonymous said...

Funny, funny, funny. Thanks for giving a rather sad story a humorous sheen. Sometimes reading about these Christian Taliban celebrity wannabies is so darn depressing. It is so refreshing to have someone remind us to step away and see the human comedy. Your wit is a saving grace for us all. Loved the title of the posting!