Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Sarah Palin sets example for daughters by refusing to go all the way


It's been awhile since I've written anything here about Sarah Palin, whom I snarkily referred to as McCain's Vagina during 2008 presidential campaign.

But now that she's sulkily stomped out of office because people wouldn't stop being mean to her, how could I resist analyzing her decision to abandon her post as Governor halfway through her term?

"I'm not a quitter, I'm a fighter," Palin told CNN. 

Oh come on, Sarah. As a modern woman and working mother why not just admit how good you are at doing it all? You're a fighter and a quitter. You're a fighter who quits. You're the plucky point guard who drives through the full court press with her eye on the basket and then refuses to take the shot because the opposing team dared to try and block you. (The nerve of them!)

Who knows her real reason for leaving. If it's the one she gave then no wonder her supporters are so stunned. 

Bloggers, Sarah sniffs, are just a bunch of poopy-heads who say mean things and she isn't going to take it anymore.  

They're just like that awful David Letterman who joked that her teen daughter might have had sex in New York with a pro-athlete. As opposed to the truth, which is that her teen daughter had sex in Palin's own home with a high-school athlete.

"Lettermen should apologize!", Sarah pouted, stomping the ground in a way that made her hair extensions bounce oh-so-prettily. She said the joke was not funny. What apparently was funny was SNL's earlier skit about her husband Todd having sex with her daughters. How did she express outrage over that particular "insult?" That's right - she went on SNL as a guest.

But forget that little inconsistency. Sarah wants to make it clear - it's her right as a mother - not the media's -  to exploit her kids. She gave birth to them, after all. Or at least to four of them. Not everyone believes Trig is Sarah's, unless of course you're willing to believe that a 43-year-old pro-life Christian woman knowing that carrying a Downs baby put her in the riskiest of high-risk pregnancy categories would knowingly leak amniotic fluid all day before boarding a plane in Texas and flying to Alaska, only to bypass two major medical centers in Anchorage in favor of a backwater hospital with no NICU facilities.  For more on why no sane person could really believe that story, read this.

Other possibilities as to why Sarah quit? Daughter Bristol's baby-daddy Levi is shopping a tell-all book deal; maybe the long-simmering question over Trig will finally be revealed. After a long fight another pajama-clad blogger is about to get her hot little hands on a batch of Sarah's yet-unreleased emails. Who knows what they'll reveal. Rumors have swirled for months now that the Palins wound up with a shiny new house shortly after a lumber company won the contract to build a still-controversial sports center in Wasilla when Sarah was mayor there. If there turns out to be anything to that, then Sarah could have added "stealing home" to the other bizarre sports analogies she used in her disjointed July 3 resignation speech.

Or, maybe, Sarah is finally telling the truth. She's not really a pitbull. She's just a Papillon who impressed people by yapping through the fence all these months. 

"Look how tough she is!" they said. "Isn't she cute! And brave, too!" 

Then she saw that the gate was open. And instead of hanging with the big dogs she turned and ran away whining. And everyone realized she was never what she - or John McCain - pretended she was.

No matter what the reality, Sarah Palin is toast. Having proved how well she handles political pressure by not handling it, she's destroyed any chance of ever being taken seriously again.

 And I, for one, am really happy about that. 

13 comments:

Rationalist said...

Great post. Welcome back to posting!

Morgan said...

Thanks, Rationalist! Audrey has told me I needed to get back to it. I had so much fun with it during the campaign and then after that PD came along and it takes up so much time. But it's a good cause.

JohnR said...

Told you so...

Morgan said...

JohnR, you told me Sarah was going to implode?

JohnR said...

No, that she has no future in politics.

See your Jan 22, 2009 post comment section.

Same difference.

passinthru said...

I'm not sure she's gone. Much as I'd like to be. She's really angry, but she thinks she has a fix on her route, so I can't quite count her out.

Morgan said...

John, you have a good memory. Did you always think that from Day One or did you come to that conclusion during the campaign or after. I saw signs that she was a time bomb when she was on the trail. Tick, tick, tick.

Passinthru, I think she's going to keep an appeal with her base, but if the GOP puts her up as a national candidate she's going to spell failure for the party. I plan to blog on why later.

JohnR said...

When McCain picked her, I was baffled.

I found it interesting that both VP candidates were as dumb as a box of rocks, and they both continue to live down to expectations.

If she cannot expand her base, and I don't see how, she will go nowhere and that is what I expect.

Her supporters are as foolish as Obama supporters if they think she can accomplish something or make difference.

passinthru said...

John, Joe Biden isn't dumb. I don't know whether Sarah Palin is, or not...she's so uninformed and grandiose its tough to tell.

Politics requires a different skill set than most governing. It's unusual to find someone who has enough of both. Sarah's a much better candidate than elected official, and it's also difficult to move up in political levels...again, the skills don't necessarily transfer. She pretty much flunked the Wasilla to statehouse upgrade, but since she's EXACTLY the type of candidate certain types of GOP heavyweights prefer, she'll definitely be eligible for tutoring. If she chooses to take advantage of that, we'll see Sarah 3.0 rolled out in plenty of time for 2012.

Christopher said...

Her supporters are as foolish as Obama supporters if they think she can accomplish something or make difference.

And you could just as easily replace "Obama" with "Ron Paul" in that sentence.

JohnR said...

Passinthru: You're right, the box of rocks is smarter.

Biden appears to be as uninformed as Palin is. "Missed the signs of the economic downturn."

Bullshit.

Christopher: Yes. Never claimed to the contrary.

Nate is right, voting is a waste of time.

Diana said...

This is great...

Then she saw that the gate was open. And instead of hanging with the big dogs she turned and ran away whining. And everyone realized she was never what she - or John McCain - pretended she was.

I hope she reads it!

Morgan said...

Thanks, Diana. I'm afraid I'm in a long line of critics, however, including many within her own train wreck of a party. She can't possibly read them all, if she even reads.