Saturday, November 21, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
The dress and boots are the same ones I wore last year. This year I've accessorized with a new hat, some totally awesome stockings and a new familiar, Pookah.
Those of you may remember that I found Pookah last year in the ditch outside my house just four days before I lost my beloved 15-year-old cat Jingles. Now, after taking a year to warm up to me - for cats respect the Official Mourning Period - Pookah is my best buddy.
This morning my sister sent me this. I love it:
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
In an E-mail message today, Campbell said she misspoke. "Zondervan never planned on publishing a separate Christian edition of Going Rogue with supplemental material," she said. "From what I understand, it was misreporting."
readers. Publishers have a lot of people on the inside. They may realize that forthcoming revelations about Sarahs' true character - or lack thereof - may alienate so many of Sarah's True Christian™ followers that they'll abandon her and her book.
Sunday, October 04, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
"It's just common sense that government attempts to solve problems like the health care problem will just create new problems." -- Sarah Palin to the CLSA Investors
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
....and goes quite nicely with the decor. Are you digging the whole Snake and Apple symbolism? I am. Only naughty girls use Macs. ;-)
Monday, September 14, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
The does bleat, wag their tails and hang by the fence. The bucks respond by stamping, sneezing, snorting, pissing on their own faces and putting their penises in their own mouths (seriously) should they be endowed with penises big enough to reach.
And since Star is a girl who just can't say no - despite giving birth to triplets earlier this year - she let Legacy have his way with her. Multiple times.
Fortunately, Piggie is smarter than Toby and knew enough to get out of the way before she got jumped or pissed on. Nobody messes with Piggie, so we don't have to worry about coming out one morning to find a litter of mutant pig-goats or what other sort of abomination would come from such an unlikely coupling.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, and the best schools in the world - and none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities. Unless you show up to those schools; pay attention to those teachers; listen to your parents, grandparents and other adults; and put in the hard work it takes to succeed.
When I was young, my family lived in Indonesia for a few years and my mother didn't have the money to send me to where all the American kids went to school. So she decided to teach me extra lessons herself, Monday through Friday - at 4:30 in the morning.
Where you are right now doesn't have to determine where you'll end up. No one's written your destiny for you. Here in America, you write your own destiny. You make your own future.
J.K. Rowling's first Harry Potter book was rejected twelve times before it was finally published. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, and he lost hundreds of games and missed thousands of shots during his career. But he once said, "I have failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."These people succeeded because they understand that you can't let your failures define you - you have to let them teach you. You have to let them show you what to do differently next time.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
Would you mind if I ask you a simple question?
What are you thinking?
Please don’t think I’m trying to be rude or disrespectful. I sincerely believe that you have nothing but Levi Johnston’s interest at heart. I’m sure he’s enjoyed the limelight at appearances like the Teen Choice Awards. I’m sure he’s flattered by the attention of stars like Kathy Griffin and interviewers who get him to joke about having sex with cougars or posing in the nude. Great fun for a young man who’s never been out of small town Alaska. Great fun.
But I think what Levi – and maybe you – aren’t seeing is that the public is no longer laughing with him. They’re laughing at him.
This worries me. It worries me a great deal. That boy’s been through a lot with the Palins. He doesn’t have to write a book for most people to realize that. But he should write a book. He needs to write a book. And he needs to do it before he even thinks about movie roles and modeling.
Why? Because right now information is the most marketable thing your boy Levi has. It’s his biggest commodity. But his recent and somewhat reckless appearances are wearing thin on people who might otherwise be sympathetic to his story. He's losing credibility at a time when he needs it the most.
Listen, Sarah Palin is no friend to Hollywood. She’s targeted and bashed all of Hollywood as elitists. She and her kind are a threat to free speech and creativity. They’re a threat to everything Hollywood stands for. And Hollywood knows it.
Don’t you understand that anyone who tells the story that brings this woman down is going to be seen as a conquering hero in Hollywood? If Levi Johnston spills the truth – the whole truth – Sarah’s career will be destroyed. And the right wing punditry and politicos who supported her will be humiliated by association. Once that happens Levi will all but have the key to the city. At the moment, the best you’re offering him is a future spot in I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. Next stop after that: Obscurity.
What do you think Levi would rather be - best selling author turned actor? Or another Kato Kaelin?
Gentlemen, it’s the story that is the key to Levi’s success, both in the court of public opinion and in Hollywood. So on behalf of all of us who seek and want the truth: Stop the leaks. Cut off the juvenile interviews. Put a pen in that boy's hand (or a ghostwriter's hand) and encourage him to do the book. It’s his best, greatest shot at success.
You know what he's been through. You know he deserves it. See that he gets it. Please. You'll not just be doing him a favor, you'll be doing the whole country a favor at the same time.
Morgan, pajama-clad blogger and very, very concerned United States citizen
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
In the past, they've polled Asian fortunte tellers for index targets, hired anime cartoonists to draw Japanese research and generally love to push the boundaries between entertainment and analysis. They are a real research firm, it's just that they love to sprinkle in some hilarity every now and then as a smart marketing gimmick.
Friday, August 21, 2009
That’s what she said. Republican Sentator John Ensign’s former mistress, that is.
And that’s what I said earlier this week – with an entirely different meaning – when I heard him take a morally superior stance on his adultery by favorably comparing himself to Bill Clinton.
Ensign, backed by a chorus of angels only he could see, explained the difference between wholesome, family values adultery and the nasty Democratic variety.
“President Clinton stood right before the American people and he lied to the American people,” Ensign told the Associated Press.
Let me digress here and state I’m not making apologies for Bill Clinton. The man is a horn dog who, for all his lofty talk, sees women as objects. Specifically humidors. When he “rescued” those two hot journalists from North Korea I was among those hoping they had a Bill-proof cabin for the trip home. I could see him leaning against the door as he tried to lure them out with that self-assured Arkansas drawl.
“Hey girls. I just saved both of you from a labor camp. Now come on out and show Daddy some love….”
But Clinton might not have that image with me or anyone else if he’d just taken the GOP path of Righteousness Adultery. As a married lawmaker, when you decide to fuck someone besides your wife the first thing you ask yourself is “What Would Jesus Do?”
Well, first of all you render unto the mistress whatever it takes to keep her pretty mouth shut. In Ensign's case that may have been $25,000 in severance pay followed by another $96,000 from (cough, cough) Mom and Dad. Oh, and if you pick a mistress who is also married, at least try to find one whose husband who won't be a poor sport about it.
Or you could just claim that the affair wasn’t really an affair, but a bonding of spirits that transcends partisan and even cultural boundaries. That’s what Republican South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford did. He knew none of us on lower spiritual planes would understand, which is why he claimed to be hiking up the steamy Appalachian trail when he was really hiking up some a steamy Argentinean’s skirt.
But this wasn’t just some piece of ass, he argued. This was his soul mate. It was love. And God is Love, right? So Sandford’s sex was like a throbbing, pulsating expression of his Christianity....or something like that. And he likely tried to explain that to his boring wife, but like the rest of America she just too stupid to understand. Which is exactly why we women need good conservative men to guide us through life, because only a conservative can explain why things happen the way they do.
But it’s not always women who get the Holy Order of the GOP in trouble. Sometimes it’s men, like in the case of former GOP Senator Larry Craig. Upon detecting a come hither stance from a guy in the next bathroom stall, Craig took one look at the alluring wingtip shoe and thought, “Yeah, I’d tap that…”
Later after pleading guilty to disorderly conduct he did a reach around..I mean, a turnaround, and said it never happened.
Because lying, like adultery is OK as long as it doesn't violate state or federal law. And because it’s not really sinning unless you’re a Clinton.
And Larry Craig knows exactly what he'd like to do to Bill Clinton, given this 1999 interview. It would seem he'd like to...No, I'm not going to say it. I'm not. I'm just going to let Larry Craig speak for himself. Because sometimes only the righteous can do it best...
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Of all the Sarah Palin news continuing to leak out even after we thought we’d gotten rid of her something finally emerged today that I’d actually been waiting for.
After a protracted delay, Sarah has gotten around to disclosing the gifts she received in 2008 from well-wishers. The report was due in March but is just being released now, a full five months later. But who's counting, right?
Besides, she had a good excuse. Apparently her garage was so chock-full of goodies there was hardly room for the special edition Arctic Cat "Welcome Home Jesus" snow machine Todd had custom made for the Second Coming. (Sure those things aren't cheap, but I hear that Todd gets a great company discount.)
The gifts are pretty much what you’d expect. Tacky stuff from tacky people. A giant glass elephant, a gun case engraved with Sarah’s name, a bunch of cross-stitched crap for her house because when you use firearms and antlers as decorating accents you need something soft to balance it. A Bible bound in the skin of un-baptized Democrats..no wait. That’s goatskin. Either way you have to admit that's kind of creepy.
She even got some books (otherwise known to Sarah as “kindlin’), a few flags presumably to wrap herself in…oh, and get this: some moron actually sent her a statue of the Virgin Mary. Pffft. Like Pentecostal Sarah is going to keep that pagan thing.
I’m sure included in there was at least one pair of fuck-me-pumps sent to her by some creepy, married Republican deacon who spent many an hour afterwards fantasizing that she’d show up at his door wearing nothing but his gift and a trench coat. Hope springs eternal. So hang on, pervs. You may yet get your shot if those Palin divorce rumors are true.
Why was I so interested in this news? Because I’d sent her a few things, too. And damn it, not one of them was listed. Not that I'm hurt. OK. I lied. I am.
But fine. I’ll just list them myself. Now don't laugh. I didn't have much to spend. I have kids to support. And goats, which, by the way will never be skinned to make a Bible for some lying politician to thump.
And now I give you my personal list of the Love Offerings I Sent To Sarah:
1. Hooked On Phonics
I got her the starter set because I didn't want to scare her.
I'm thinking Sarah liked this one best. The only reason I didn't get a thank-you note was because she was just too choked up.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Professor Stephen Hawking has defended the NHS after its severe criticism during the American political debate over health care reforms.
The physicist spoke up for the NHS after the Republican Right claimed it was 'evil' and 'Orwellian' in a direct attack on Barack Obama's plans to overhaul health care in the U.S.
Critics of the president have said his plans would introduce a 'socialist' system like Britain's.
Prof Hawkin, who suffers from Lou Gehrig's disease, said: 'I wouldn't be here today if it were not for the NHS.
'I have received a large amount of high quality treatment without which I would not have survived.'
Sunday, July 19, 2009
An overhead shot of Jessica entering the reception hall.