Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Initial post-debate impressions

I want to get John McCain a bowl of soup. I want to tell him that it's going to be OK as I get him settled into his chair and carefully tuck the napkin into his shirt collar.

I want to tell him that there's no need to be so angry and confused, that no one probably even noticed when he forgot that guy's name who asked him that question about the economy, appeared to forget the question itself and then misidentified the job description of Gen. David Patraeus, who is not the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

I want to tell him that his opponent, you know - That One - probably won't really see any benefit from keeping his cool, addressing his questioners succinctly while remembering their names and admitting that he doesn't understand why the fuck we invaded a country that didn't attack us on 9/11.

I want to lift a spoonful of warm pea soup to McCain's trembling lips, look into his confused eyes and tell him that soon, very soon, this whole nasty election will be a think of the past. Oh yes it will. And then he and that woman he chose as a running mate - the one whose name he also apparently forgot tonight -can go back home. And then he can finally have a nap.

So that was my initial impression and all I can say on it. Because I must rest up for my next challenge tomorrow, which will be to answer this post from Digital Cowboy who, while a perfectly nice guy, has made it obvious in the third comment of said post that he has never had sex with a woman who rides horses.


Andrea said...

If you tried to lovingly feed him pea soup, I'm sure he'd go all Exorcist on you. He seems to be a mad boy.

And what's the big problem with horseriding?

Morgan said...

He does seem a bit angry, doesn't he? Even when he's giving a speech by himself he's cranky.

There's no problem with horse riding; just the opposite. You'll have to go to Digital Cowboy's blog and see what he wrote for the backstory. It's kind of funny. Years back I disagreed with him on his claim that no woman could convincingly fake an orgasm. I penned a post in rebuttal called "Oh yes we can," ironically enough.

Andrea said...

I remember that...but it was years ago and I had since given him the benefit of the doubt that no man would voluntarily hold a position so goddamn stupid.

Morgan said...

In Cowboy's defense, a guy who's been around enough can tell the difference between a genuine one and a faked one. But a woman with enough experience in having genuine ones can still fool him.

But I digress, and did digress. So on a more serious note, did you watch the debate? And if so, what did you think?

digitalcowboy said...

Are you serious? Do you think my online nickname is a joke or some fantasy of mine?

It's descriptive. I make my living currently in web development and web hosting (those are my two businesses). I live on a working ranch. I don't own the ranch, I rent a cabin here. That's full disclosure.

But it's a working ranch and I occasionally help run steers here for team roping competitions at which there are often nationally ranked ropers - and former champions- competing. At the rodeo arena that is right behind my house.

Some of my first sexual experiences - as a teenager - were with a girl whose parents were both professional jockeys. She lived three houses down the road from me and the quarter horse ranch where her parents were both employed was right behind my backyard.

Do I have "cred" yet?

I appreciate your kind words, Morgan. I like you too. I suspect we have more in common than we have in difference.

But please don't assume I'm full of shit - or allow your commenters to malign me that way.

I would love to be enlightened - further - about how riding horses has anything to do with faking orgasms. I once watched the aforementioned girl ride her horse naked and bring herself to orgasm doing so. I was a youngster and she was 2 years younger than me.

But I still don't believe that you can make your thigh muscles twitch against my cheek at will. You'll have to perform that stunt while reading Shakespeare to me calmly before I will ever believe it's possible.

That's an open challenge. You - and your readers - know where to find me.

I'll respond to your political post that's full of strawmen soon. (You sure put a lot of words in my mouth.)

And this isn't personal. I truly like you. One reason I do is because you can laugh at yourself. That's the first test for me of whether a person can be trusted.

Morgan said...

Whoa there, cowboy. I was just needling you with the horse comments. You've obviously got plenty of cred. My only point is that women who ride horses generally have more butt and leg muscle control (especially English riders since they have to use more lower body aids to control their horses.)

I don't doubt that a woman could bring herself to orgasm on a horse. The open joke is that equestrian women are sex-crazed anyway. I read a book last year about the late Princess Diana and apparently part of Camilla Parker Bowle's appeal was that she was an equestrian and pretty wild in the bedroom. Of course, the mental image of that is disturbing; it's one thing to like horses and another to look like one. Both Charles and Bowles are rather "horsey" looking.

But back to the orgasm thing, not every woman manifests Ultimate Passion in the same way. I've personally never had the thigh twitch thing, so I'm not sure you can use that as a criteria. Involuntary twitching would be hard to fake, but most of my twitching - well, it's more like pulsing - is higher up and inside. :-) But I can only speak for myself. Perhaps the uninhibited Andrea can weigh in on this one.

And don't worry that I'll let my readers ever be mean to you. We disagree here, but for the most part are pretty civil to each other.

And I like you, too. Since the old days at Vox's, I still have some mouth-breathers out there who hate me. But I managed to make some good conservative friends who I expect and admire.