Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Goodbye, Bane...


Bane of Bane Rants is dead. And apparently, this time, he's not faking it.

Over the past few years Bane and I shared four civil messages - one each left on our respective blogs and the other two via private email. All had to do with our kids, both of us being the parents of a special needs child.

Our other exchanges were all Slash and Burn and I thoroughly enjoyed ever moment of our verbal battles, especially since he got so delightfully wound up.

Bane was a paradox, and no matter what one thought of his personal writing style, his blog always made for an interesting read because of the man behind the words. He was tortured, spiteful, hateful and small-minded, but also content, loyal, big-hearted and introspective. And never, ever have I seen someone balance insecurity and egotism so well in one space.

I will miss Bane's schizophrenic nature, but not as much as I'll miss his honesty. Poor health forced him to ponder his own mortality and he did this publicly and often in a raw, emotional way that was beautiful and painful to behold. 

His family was his pride, and if he had one fear it was how they would fare without him. I hope they will all be fine, and my sincerest condolences go out to "the wife," Nat and Johnny during this difficult time.

I'm sure he'd appreciate knowing that, given how much the guy loved Hippies....


14 comments:

Anonymous said...

How sweet that you're pretending to care....

Morgan said...

Anon, you completely misinterpret my post. I never said I cared about Bane. In truth, I never cared about him any more than he cared about me or anyone else he disagreed with.

But I did find him very ironic and amusing and because of that I will miss his contributions.

And I do feel for his family; it would be rather inhumane not to. Loss of a loved one is a terrible thing and I don't think The Wife will be able to find another one like him. With Bane the mold was not only broken but pulverized and ground into powder.

Anonymous said...

Bullshit. If you cared about his family you wouldn't have been so mean to him.

Morgan said...

Mean????

Now I know why you're posting anonymously; you're too stupid to come up with a name.

Bane was a big boy. He could handle himself. I considered it an accomplishment to even be able to piss him off and it makes me rather sad to think I won't be able to wind him up any more. Unless, of course, he comes back as a zombie or something. Which would be ironic. And appropriate.

JohnR said...

MEAN?!?!

Too Bane?!?!

Was that even possible??!!?!

Morgan said...

Pfft. No, JohnR; it's impossible.

Bane ate "Mean" for breakfast. "Mean" was his comfort zone. "Mean" was where he lived.

I think I know who Anon is. Only one person is stupid enough to make that kind of comment.

James Hooker - nipple whisperer said...

Bane made me laugh - when I wasn´t throwing something at the screen, And fuck a bunch of dickless anons who are too chickenshit to post their names.

Morgan said...

James,

I believe that Bane would have considered anonymous posters "Pussies." But in the case of the anonymous poster who left the comments here, that would be a compliment.

I still can't believe Bane is dead. He hated hippies, me included, but to read Bane was to admire him whether you wanted to or not, and despite the joy I took in making him mad - and it was easy to do if you knew which buttons to push - I found myself liking a lot about him through his writing.

I used to think a lot of what he said was part of an act, but later it became apparent that they guy was who he said he was - tortured, crazy, genius.

Thanks for stopping by and FYI, I visited your page and now find myself admiring you. I had no idea you were such an amazing talent.

TransplantetTexan said...

In the comments of one of your posts you state -
"You are exactly right that whether we know the people we mock is inconsequential. It's not inconceivable that the relatives of that woman may at some point come across his post"

And from this post -
"And I do feel for his family; it would be rather inhumane not to"

I think the former applies here as well. The tenor of your comments make the it a hard sell that you admired or respected him, or "feel for his family."
Sometimes dignity is best found in silence.
You would do well to take your own advice.

Morgan said...

I don't post for validation here, TT. I post what I think and believe. I did respect Bane for telling the truth and for loving his family.

Putting up a Tough Front was important to the very end for Bane. I'm sure if I had died he would have done a very public happy dance as he did when other people passed.

If I had genuinely felt happy about Bane's death, I would have said so. But I didn't; I felt a bit sad at his passing, had some begrudging respect for him and made both sentiments public. I didn't do it to impress you or anyone else but because that was and is what I thought.

There are stark differences between these two situations, and although I shouldn't have to spell it out for you I will just the same. So try to keep up.

1.) Bane was a victim of a disease. He didn't want to die and did not wilfully chose his fate because he knew the pain it would cause.

2.) Robert Beale is not a victim, regardless of how much the Right Wing Nuts are trying to paint him as a martyr. Beal chose to put his family through this ordeal although his wealth afforded him other options had he chosen to fight the system. He could have organized a protest group or funded a legal defense fun for people who chose to fight the government in court. But he didn't. He chose to hide his money, run, put his family through probably surveillance and suspicion and finally the shame of seeing their father and grandfather locked up in prison for over a decade. This was a result that could have been avoided if he cared about his family as much as he did his money.

So if we're talking about "hard sells" I have to say that your assertion that I should care about Vox, SB and their kids when Vox's father obviously does not is a much harder one to make.

But thanks for stopping by just the same.

TransplantedTexan said...

Morgan,
In your zeal to attack Robert Beale and his family, you have completely missed my point. I have no association with this person or his family, nor did I assert you should care for him. Furthermore the connection I was trying to make was not between Bane, and Mr. Beale.
The first bit of text where I quoted you was from a comment where you were stating your disapproval of Vox making comments about an unfortunate woman who was raped and murdered, and the possibility of her family stumbling across said comments.
The same would apply to Banes family in my opinion.
I realize that it is your blog, you get to write what you want.
That being said as a reader I feel all the right words are there, stating admiration and respect for the man and a sense of caring for his family. The tenor however states otherwise.
This is in conflict with your judgment of said comments by Vox.
This doesn’t come to a surprise to me though as I have seen more of your writing. Even in your response to me you justify whatever you wish to say about Bane by stating – “Putting up a Tough Front was important to the very end for Bane. I'm sure if I had died he would have done a very public happy dance as he did when other people passed.”
I see that to you two wrongs make a right.

Morgan said...

TT, you seem to have a problem mistaking needling for zeal. I'd say I've attacked Palin with "zeal." The sport I occasionally make of the short and balding Vox Day hardly rises to that level. But seeing that you're a fan of his I can understand your need to flatter him.

Now, just as I am free to write what I please, you are free to interpret what I write as you please, even if that interpretation is convoluted. Since when did we have to actually like someone to feel sad about their passing? On the whole, Bane was a sociopath; even his admirers readily admit that. He could not stand me, and I found most of his stances repugnant. But even so we managed to exchange a couple of civil emails and I found his later personal writings (not his fiction) very poignant and touching. If I had been the one who died and Bane had enjoyed a good and public laugh it would have been within his rights. And Bane being Bane, it wouldn't have been wrong. It would have just been his honest reaction.

It would have highly hypocritical for me to have said, "I am sorry Bane is dead. I loved him." Instead I told the truth. "I am sorry Bane is dead. He was such an asshole."

So there you go.

I know that the WND crowd sees things in shades of black and white and have a very difficult time understanding that a coin really can have two sides. Given that, I'm not holding my breath that my attempts to enlighten you to that fact will be successful.

But at least I can say I tried.

TransplantedTexan said...

Once again, to me this has nothing to do with Vox or any of his family. I am not a "rank and file fan" of his. I have read the site only a handfull of times.
I actually agree with your assertion that the family of the woman who was raped and murdered could come across that post and they would most likely be hurt by the comments.
I would not find it right for Bane to have a good public laugh at your passing. Just because Bane would be being Bane doesn't make it right.
Some honest emotions/actions are dead wrong.
Yes it would be hypocritical of you to say Banes dead and that you just loved the man to pieces.To me, the moral high ground would be to voice sympathy for the persons surviving family, and leave it at that. Dwelling on the positive aspects that you state are also morally acceptable. Going on about the obvious negatives of someone serves no purpose but to vilify them and edify ones self in the process.
You admonish some one for ridiculing a dead woman and possibly subjecting her family to something hurtful. Then you do the same when the situation suits you.
That is hypocritical.
One thing we agree upon is that I do see things in shades of black and white. I do realize the coin has two sides. That being said boths sides are diametrically opposed. Heads or tails, right or wrong.

Morgan said...

I'm afraid my mind can't be smushed into a neat little box as readily as yours.

People aren't perfect, TT, and what you saw as insults to Bane were merely observations. If you go and read some of the post-humous comments you'll see that he was frequently described as disturbed, disturbing, psychopathic and crazy - and these were comments made by people who liked him!

Someday when I am gone I will be remembered as spiky, belligerent, outspoken, outrageous, combative, arrogant, bitchy and impossible. And you know what? Anyone in my family who read that would say, "Yep, that's Morgan. That's who she was, all right." And they'll recall that my faults made me as much who I was as what positive attributes I had. And hopefully, rather than looking for some sort of fundamentalist-style closure, they'll forgo the ridiculous hand-wringing you've displayed and understand that those faults deserve to be remembered because that was part of what made me so interesting.

Not everyone just sees beauty in The Good. Some of us see it in The Evil. One cannot exist without the other. Both resides in all of us. Even you, I'll bet.