Wednesday, September 17, 2008

And then it just got weird....

When I sat down to write this post this morning, I thought of ways I could frame it in an amusing fashion. But then I realized the topic needed no help. Sarah Palin is now officially funnier than any joke about her could possibly be.

Apparently, McCain's Vagina says prayer led to her gubernatorial victory, but not just any prayer. The prayer she credits for winning her Alaska's top political post came from a Kenyan Witch Hunter named Thomas Muthee.


The pastor whose prayer Sarah Palin says helped her to become governor of Alaska founded his ministry with a witchhunt against a Kenyan woman who he accused of causing car accidents through demonic spells.

In the first portion of this YouTube video, you can listen to McCain's Vagina tell her fellow wing-nut church members how Muthee laid hands on her and prayed:





Oh boy....

The UK Times article is full of other really interesting stuff about Muthee, including how he brilliantly linked the close proximity of a fortune teller called Mama Jane to the site of several fatal car crashes, thereby deducing that witchcraft and not, say, bad driving, was to blame for the deaths.

Now, I know I still have fundamentalist Christian readers here. And I know they think I'm picking on them and their crazy-ass brethren, which I am. But take heart; regardless of what they think of me, they're going to love the way this story ends:

According to accounts of the witchhunt circulated on evangelical websites such as Prayer Links Ministries, after Pastor Muthee declared Mama Jane a witch, the townspeople became suspicious and began to turn on her, demanding that she be stoned. Public outrage eventually led the police to raid her home, where they fired gunshots, killing a pet python which they believed to be a demon.

After Mama Jane was questioned by police – and released – she decided it was time to leave town, the account says.

Whew. That was close. But in the end, the village was shed of both the witch and her Satanic Snake. And all thanks to the holy efforts of the man whose prayers Sarah Palin says put her in the Alaskan governor's chair.

McCain's Vagina is turning out to be a fundamentalist throwback's wet dream. This woman is beyond old-fashioned, she's positively Medieval!

But there is a serious side to all this. Early this morning I found this disturbing photo taken from a McCain/Palin rally:


I don't know why John McCain was wearing the funny hat, but there you go. Look for a similar rally to come to a town near you. And remember, True Christians, if you donate $25 or more at the rally, you'll not only get your own copy of the Malleus Maleficarum but a bottle of holy water drawn from one of Alaska's virgin springs, and by virgin spring we mean one the Palins' teen daughters have not yet used for skinny dipping.

On a serious note, this does not bode well for those of us who are of an Esoteric Bent, spiritually speaking. The fundamentalists here in the U.S. have whipped themselves into such a frenzy of late that they are a hair's breadth away from adopting the same intolerant mob mentality Muthee was able to muster in Kenya.

Perhaps I should start hiding all those unusual bottles of stuff I have sitting around, or at least keep my non-traditional reading material on the shelf with the spines facing backwards. And would anyone like a black cat? I may need to find her a new home. No need to arouse suspicion, especially given that a kid wrecked less than a mile from my house last weekend.

But even if I did try and blend in, would I really be safe? I kind of doubt it. The Witch Hunters are coming, and regardless of what I do, by the time they find me I'll still weigh more than a duck.

26 comments:

AlexNevgloskiJr said...

We may finally have a V-Pilf in the White House, please don't take her away from horny men everywhere!

Morgan said...

Now see, Dr. Nevgloski, here I am trying to engage you in Serious Political Commentary and as usual you're thinking with your dick. ;-)

JohnR said...

Correct me if I'm wrong Morgan but are you saying that if Palin is elected VP, the Christians will start rounding up witches.

Morgan said...

I'd certainly hope not. Please tell me you recognize a bit of satire when you see it.

The short answer is "no." I don't foresee a formal, Salem-style Witch Round-up.

But that said, I do think having Palin in a position of national power would embolden the most strident right wing religious elements in this nation and make it very, very difficult for those of us who don't choose a traditional spiritual path.

There's already been some talk of Palin's dust-up with a librarian who balked at her suggestion that some titles may need to be removed from the state's libraries.

Fundamentalists have long targeted the Harry Potter series based on the books' magical themes.

Is is really so much of a stretch to think that someone who exalts a Witch Hunter, and even credits said Witch Hunter's prayers for her personal success might share his views that witchcraft and its practitioners may be responsible for societal ills? The problem with Palin is we Just Don't Know.

My problem with Palin is that she's clearly someone who believes God's laws supersede man's laws. She has a history of going after people she disagrees with. If she sees Witches, Atheists, freethinkers and others who don't share her views as the enemy I don't think the government will do much to protect those types from the persecution of emboldened, crazy-ass Bible-thumpers.

So in response, while I don't see her personally leading a Witch Hunt, I see the possibility of a climate conducive to a Witch Hunting. On a local level, that doesn't bode well for those of us already surrounded by right-wing extremists. It also wouldn't bode well for libraries, museums or artists whose collections may include challenging material.

A witch hunt can be more than a hunt for people, JohnR. It can be a hunt for ideas as well, with those holding the "wrong" ones ending up on the pyre, metaphorically speaking.

JohnR said...

Mountain meet molehill.

The economy is probably the most important thing is people's mind now, not hunting witches or disagreeable ideas.

We have one of your True Christians on our street. He loved Mike Huckabee because he was an evangelical. We also have two sets of lesbians with children and he has never suggested burning them out or having their children taken away from them. In fact, he and his wife have an excellent relationships with both sets.

My BIL's daughter is a lesbian and she is afraid the Christians are after her. I made her mad when I told the Christians are not coming for her and to dial back the paranoia.

I think you are getting worked up over something that is not going to happen.

The secularists are winning.

JohnR said...

Sorry, I left this off. Wall Street is collapsing. People don't care about anything else when TSHTF, and it is.

Most of the major brokerage houses will be gone in a few weeks and thousands of jobs.

My wife is now worried the GMAC won't be around next year.

Morgan said...

JohnR, I completely disagree. If the nation were that concerned about the economy, then that would be all the candidates would be discussing. But Sarah Palin wasn't chosen for her ability to handle the economy; she was chosen for her ability to rally the Crazy Right Wing base who care more about social issues than economics.

Say what you want, JohnR, but there are more people in this nation who care about banning gay marriage or making people say "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holiday" than care about tax cuts for the middle class. It's exactly why - even though investment firms are going belly up and people are losing their homes - the anchors on Fox News this morning were going on and on about THE CULTURE WAR! I know people personally who can barely make ends meet, but if you ask them what they are looking for in a leader the first thing they'll say is that they want someone to ban abortion.

I am not painting all Christians with the same brush. I know quite a few who take a live-and-let-live attitude towards people who don't think like they do. But if social issues that affected those people were put to a referendum you better bet your sweet ass that they'd be out there voting the Right Way. Just because you didn't organize the hunt doesn't mean you won't pick up the pitchfork if it's offered to you.

If Palin and her ilk get swept into power there will be plenty of grass-roots measures cropping up from fundamentalists like Dobson who are clamoring to legislate morality in this country. You can count on it.

Call me paranoid if you like, but I think you're being plain naive on this one.

Morgan said...

Well, the one good thing about the economic crisis - if there is a good thing - is that it may redefine to people what matters. It's not gay marriage or feminism or whether evolution is taught in schools or abortion, but survival.

It's times like these that make me glad that we live so simply, in a small, paid-for-house in the country. With so little stuff and virtually no debt, we have little to lose and enough knowledge of raising our own food to survive no matter how bad it gets.

laughingwolf said...

years ago i read several accounts where 'youth for christ' were being trained in guerilla-style hand to hand combat, up to and including the 'quickest and quietest way to kill an adversary'...

this goes back more than 20 years, and though i've tried to find those articles since, they are no longer to be found, anywhere

yfc denies such training took place, then or now, but will not independent reporters verify that

so yes, the chances for a 'new inquisition' are not only possible, but with the likes of palin in high office, more than likely

be warned, america!

Lu' said...

So, you like Palin right? JUST KIDDING, HA!

Morgan said...

If by "like" you mean view her with a mocking disdain then yeah, Lu, I like her. ;-)

Wuff, I'm trying to picture a bunch of the kind of kids who turn out for Christian rock concerts taking up arms. And somehow...I'm just not afraid. ;-)

Jim said...

I would like to offer a perspective from a lifelong (former) Republican-voter:

I guess my problems are two:

Firstly, I put my heart and soul into the Reagan years, followed by the Gingrich years and the Contract with America - the years when the Republicans had it right, and am extremely bitter that they abandoned their principles and became exactly like the left - interested only in power.

Secondly, after that I had my hopes set on John McCain, who showed that he was a man of principle time and time again, thumbing his nose at his own party when necessary. He despises the Religious Right and the Evangelicals, as, I can tell you, does MOST of America.

Now he has repeatedly shown that he has NO principles, and will do whatever necessary to win, including going to Jerry Falwell as fast as his hands and knees would carry him. Worst of all he cynically selected a lightweight weather-girl, whom he'd only met once, but had the requisite vagina and bona fides with the Zealot_Factor - who talks in tongues to an invisible man - as his choice for President-in-Waiting I feel that familiar old sense of betrayal coming back. Goddamn him - he doesn't care for his country - my country - he only cares for himself; no matter what happens, I won't vote for a man like that.

Anonymous said...

Uh, Jim, Jerry Falwell has been dead for the past 16 months.

Are you suggesting esoteric rites to raise the dead?

Morgan said...

Anon, I think Jim may be referring to McCain's digression into cowardice where the religious right is concerned. True, Falwell has been dead for some time, but before he checked out to receive His Reward he got a visit from McSame, who sought to prove to the Wing-Nuts that he could be a good little Christian Soldier:

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/story?id=1779141&page=1

Yes, it was some time back but I guess in McCain's mind it wasn't too early to start sucking up prior to the election.

laughingwolf said...

not saying you should fear them, i'm talking about those now 20-30 years on....

laughingwolf said...

Canadian columnist's diatribe against Palin stokes anger in the U.S....

26 minutes ago

By Lee-Anne Goodman, The Canadian Press

WASHINGTON - Canadian journalist Heather Mallick is facing an ugly onslaught from the U.S. right-wing media and its fans for an online column she wrote maligning Sarah Palin as "white trash."

The 05 Sept. column on CBC.ca, entitled "A Mighty Wind Blows Through the Republican Convention", had already been on the receiving end of vitriol from some Canadian news organizations.

But Fox News picked up on it this week, and unleashed its full fury on Mallick for stating Palin, the Republicans' vice-presidential nominee, appeals to "the white trash vote" with her "toned-down version of the porn actress look".

Mallick says those comments pale in comparison to the abuse that's come her way in the wake of the column.

She's been called a "pig" by Fox News anchor, Greta Van Susteren, has been branded an insane Pakistani Muslim, by commentators on Fox message boards, and has received violent and threatening email, some of which include anti-Semitic slurs - despite the fact she's neither Jewish nor Muslim.

"I'd love to punch you right in your chops, and knock every tooth out of your head.

"Come see me bitch, I have something for you!" someone named Dave Jones wrote in an email to Mallick.

Messages left on the Fox News website also contain a lot of anti-Canadian sentiment.

"Canada is made up of small towns, and many if not most trace their ancestry back to their 'redneck cousins', and they still have relatives here in the U.S.," one wrote.

Wrote another, "Those morons up north just can't keep their ignorant mouths shut when it's really none of their socialist business ... the People's Republic of Canada is no friend of the USA!"

The Toronto-based Mallick admits she's been shaken by the violence suggested in hundreds of emails similar in tone to Jones', but adds the messages have simply served to underscore her point about the bigotry and small-mindedness of some Republican supporters.

"The responses to my column proved me correct about the extreme right in the United States: they have a great misogynist rage in them," Mallick said in an interview from Toronto on Saturday.

"The violent and obscene threats against me were one thing - it's easy to filter those - but the anti-Semitic hate mail was very troubling.

"I am not Jewish, but I am honoured to be taken for one.

"I consider it a great compliment."

The CBC said Saturday it had no plans to remove Mallick's article from its website despite the criticism.

"She's an opinion columnist, she expresses her opinion.

"Her opinions don't represent the views of CBC in general, or CBC News, in particular," said spokesman, Jeff Keay.

"The people who object to her opinions have an opportunity to comment on the website, as they've done."

Mallick was certainly not alone in attacking Palin in the days following John McCain's surprise pick of the Alaska governor as his running mate.

Among many others in the mainstream media and in the blogosphere, Salon.com's Cintra Wilson had a column about Palin in the same vein as Mallick's.

"Ideologically, she is their hardcore pornographic centrefold spread," Wilson wrote.

"She's such a power-mad, backwater beauty-pageant casualty, it's easy to write her off and make fun of her.

"But in reality I feel as horrified as a ghetto Jew, watching the rise of National Socialism."

The rage of women about Palin in the so-called blue states - those that routinely vote Democrat in presidential elections - has, in fact, been well-documented.

"All of my women friends ... were on the verge of throwing themselves out windows," author and political activist, Nancy Kricorian, told the New York Sun earlier this week.

"People were flipping out. ...

"Every woman I know was in high hysteria over this.

"Everyone was just beside themselves with terror this woman could be our president - our potential next president."

But the woman-versus-woman slurs haven't just focused on Palin.

Van Susteren leveled some Mallick's way, when she repeatedly called her a pig while discussing the controversy with the Ottawa Citizen's David Warren, on her Fox News Channel show Thursday.

"There's no part of me that thinks this woman published this as part of a grand motive to expose others.

"I think she just wrote it for selfish reasons, and because, as I noted, I think she's a pig," Van Susteren said.

One lone participant on Van Susteren's blog, amid the many cheerleaders, took her to task for the remarks.

"It seems particularly ironic you decry Mallick's lack of tact/professionalism, etc., when she name-calls by doing precisely the same thing: what sort of journalistic integrity is there in calling someone a pig?" wrote someone named Hope.

The media blog, Media Bistro, also defended Mallick.

"We kind of think Heather Mallick has some balls to be that snarky in a country that tries to legislate politeness," it wrote.

Mallick was unapologetic about the column Saturday, adding the CBC has been supportive of her right to expression.

"Columnists have been opinionating since newspapers were invented," she said.

"And now, journalism is online, which makes reaction even more hyper than it used to be.

"I'm a confident writer, and some of this new audience is not used to that."

Copyright © 2008 Canadian Press

Morgan said...

Good grief. The sad thing is, what Mallick wrote is true. The only people I know supporting Palin are ignorant, reactionary conservatives of the White Trash variety.

thimscool said...

Y'all ever snort Jack Daniels?

Morgan said...

I'm not much of a drinker, and not a snorter at all. But if McCain and his Vagina get into power I just might start, Ya'll.

JohnR said...

"But in reality I feel as horrified as a ghetto Jew, watching the rise of National Socialism."

This woman is stupid beyond belief.


"The rage of women about Palin in the so-called blue states - those that routinely vote Democrat in presidential elections - has, in fact, been well-documented.

"All of my women friends ... were on the verge of throwing themselves out windows," author and political activist, Nancy Kricorian, told the New York Sun earlier this week.

"People were flipping out. ...

"Every woman I know was in high hysteria over this.

"Everyone was just beside themselves with terror this woman could be our president - our potential next president.""

Lawsy, Mizz Mo'gan, what's we gon do wif dis' crazee female. I dast belief I t'row mysef out de winda.

Lawsy, I do believe I gots de vapors.

Do these women not see how stupid and hysterical they sound?

Morgan said...

JohnR, I don't know of any females who are hysterical. Maybe the women referenced in the story were prone to more hysterics than I'm used to seeing.

But it hardly any more hysterical than Greta Van Sustren's reaction. Maybe Sustren's just still upset because the last round of plastic surgery just made things worse for her. But even so....

And the other reactions which include the threat of physical violence? When you're throwing yourself out the window, would you mind dragging some of the hysterical white trash along with you? I like you well enough, so when you hit pavement, please do try to land on them. The Lucky Strikes in their pockets may help break their fall...

JohnR said...

Morgan, I won't be throwing myself out of any windows as I am not hysterical over McCain's choice.

Don't know about Greta, I don't watch Fox News.

Nothing will change, politics as usual will continue. McCain and Obama will continue the corrupt status quo.

I don't know any white trash. The people around here are pretty middle class. Everyone seems to have all of their teeth, not married to a relative, has a college degree, or they own their own business.

Out of 12 of my immediate neighbors, there are 9 college degrees and 2 own their own businesses.

JohnR said...

Hey and what is wrong with Lucky Strikes. I used to smoke them back in junior high.

Morgan said...

I was being tongue-in-cheek, JohnR. I don't consider you white trash, but I have seen a lot of White Trash Types stumping for Palin. When you said you might "jast t'row" yourself out the window, I just didn't it to want to be in vain.

And the fact that you quite smoking Lucky Strikes proves you're not white trash...

JohnR said...

FYI, Morgan, it appears that everyone's favorite sociopath, Bane, has passed away.

Seriously this time it appears.

Morgan said...

I saw that last night. He was an interesting character. I left a comment on his blog and put up a post today on mine. I feel for his family, but think they will do OK.