When I sat down to write this post this morning, I thought of ways I could frame it in an amusing fashion. But then I realized the topic needed no help. Sarah Palin is now officially funnier than any joke about her could possibly be.
Apparently, McCain's Vagina says prayer led to her gubernatorial victory, but not just any prayer. The prayer she credits for winning her Alaska's top political post came from a Kenyan Witch Hunter named Thomas Muthee.
From the U.K. Times Online:
The pastor whose prayer Sarah Palin says helped her to become governor of Alaska founded his ministry with a witchhunt against a Kenyan woman who he accused of causing car accidents through demonic spells.
In the first portion of this YouTube video, you can listen to McCain's Vagina tell her fellow wing-nut church members how Muthee laid hands on her and prayed:
The UK Times article is full of other really interesting stuff about Muthee, including how he brilliantly linked the close proximity of a fortune teller called Mama Jane to the site of several fatal car crashes, thereby deducing that witchcraft and not, say, bad driving, was to blame for the deaths.
Now, I know I still have fundamentalist Christian readers here. And I know they think I'm picking on them and their crazy-ass brethren, which I am. But take heart; regardless of what they think of me, they're going to love the way this story ends:
According to accounts of the witchhunt circulated on evangelical websites such as Prayer Links Ministries, after Pastor Muthee declared Mama Jane a witch, the townspeople became suspicious and began to turn on her, demanding that she be stoned. Public outrage eventually led the police to raid her home, where they fired gunshots, killing a pet python which they believed to be a demon.
After Mama Jane was questioned by police – and released – she decided it was time to leave town, the account says.
Whew. That was close. But in the end, the village was shed of both the witch and her Satanic Snake. And all thanks to the holy efforts of the man whose prayers Sarah Palin says put her in the Alaskan governor's chair.
McCain's Vagina is turning out to be a fundamentalist throwback's wet dream. This woman is beyond old-fashioned, she's positively Medieval!
But there is a serious side to all this. Early this morning I found this disturbing photo taken from a McCain/Palin rally:
I don't know why John McCain was wearing the funny hat, but there you go. Look for a similar rally to come to a town near you. And remember, True Christians, if you donate $25 or more at the rally, you'll not only get your own copy of the Malleus Maleficarum but a bottle of holy water drawn from one of Alaska's virgin springs, and by virgin spring we mean one the Palins' teen daughters have not yet used for skinny dipping.
On a serious note, this does not bode well for those of us who are of an Esoteric Bent, spiritually speaking. The fundamentalists here in the U.S. have whipped themselves into such a frenzy of late that they are a hair's breadth away from adopting the same intolerant mob mentality Muthee was able to muster in Kenya.
Perhaps I should start hiding all those unusual bottles of stuff I have sitting around, or at least keep my non-traditional reading material on the shelf with the spines facing backwards. And would anyone like a black cat? I may need to find her a new home. No need to arouse suspicion, especially given that a kid wrecked less than a mile from my house last weekend.
But even if I did try and blend in, would I really be safe? I kind of doubt it. The Witch Hunters are coming, and regardless of what I do, by the time they find me I'll still weigh more than a duck.