It may not mean a whole lot to those of you living in land-locked areas, but those of us in coastal regions don't like hurricane season. We don't like having to board of our windows, tie up our lawn mowers and worry how we're going to evacuate the kids and pets in the event of The Big One.
That's why it irritates some of us when - as soon as any significant storm starts heading our way - the Weather Channel people come to town.
They're Storm Sluts, and they get all tingly over the prospect of what A Really Bad Storm may do for their career. Because let's face it. Droughts aren't sexy and in the summer nobody follows drought coverage. Hurricanes, with the looming possibility of death and destruction make for Must See TV.
The Weather Channel's chief Storm Slut is Jim Cantore. He pioneered the art of standing on the beach and braving the gusts as if the hurricane had come in to attack him personally.
Yep, Cantore can say he's been blown by the best of them. In fact, he can't be bothered with little hurricanes anymore. He only shows up now for nothing less than a Category 3 storm, which he and other forecasters now refer to as "Cat" 3's because they're too cool to say the word "category." I'm wondering how long it'll be before they'll just shorten "hurricane" to "cane."
"Looks like this may be a Cat 3 Cane! Thank god I wore waterproof makeup for those tight shots!"
What a bunch of asses.
It's not so much their presence that bothers me. If they want to stand on the beach and make a big deal about their hats getting blown off then that's fine with me. What really bothers me the most about these guys is how they are visibly disappointed when a roaring Category 4 hurricane peters out to non-cataclysmic Category 2 just as it hits the coast. You can see it on their faces. They were so hoping for more. But then again, it's not their property and lives at stake.
Those of us who do live here know the truth. Hurricane season really blows, as opposed to those who see it as an excuse to get face time on TV. Those people just suck.
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