I'm generally four square against the debauching of reluctant virgins, but in the case of Mrs. Hensley, it may turn out to be a blessing in disguise.
Those of you following the unfortunate barnyard saga of our broody hen will recall Mrs. Hensey as the Pinnacle of Avian Morality. She's nothing like her slutty sister, Bedelia.
Bedelia is like a doorknob; she gives everyone a turn, and can regularly be seen giving it up to multiple roosters in the dust wallow behind the thornless blackberries. Mrs. Hensley has steadfastly refused the roosters' attention and - despite their ardent pursuit - has always managed to elude them long enough to maintain her virtue.
But alas, her chastity has not brought her any closer to getting what she really wants - a brood of chicks. Infertile eggs don't hatch, they just go bad. This past Saturday, Mrs. Hensley finally abandoned her second rotting clutch, flying off the nest with a squawk of sheer despair.
But, as fate would have it, her descent brought her right in the path of the Worst Sort of Rooster, a swaggering brute named Randall Cock - Randy for short. I won't go into the unseemly details; I'll only tell you Randy Cock nailed Mrs. Hensley with such masterful efficiency that I was forced to shield the goslings' eyes from the spectacle.
I expected Mrs. Hensley to be traumatized, especially given her vocal protestations. So imagine my surprise when later that same afternoon I found her not ruffled and dazed, but flouncing around the same brutal cad and clucking flirtatiously. It seems even in the animal kingdom females are drawn to the Bad Boys.
So there you go.
OK, so Mrs. Hensley can forget being inducted into the National Organization for Feminist Hens, but at least she can finally look for some fertile eggs as a result from an activity that was obviously a lot more enjoyable than she ever anticipated. And she may find that a little hen can be a wanton while still being a virtuous mother.
NBC confirms that it paid off former assistant producer after she brought a sexual harassment complaint against Chris Matthews. - Courtesy of Fox News: *The website, citing two sources, reported that NBC paid the woman $40,000 to settle her claim against Matthews in 1999. An NBC spo...
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