Thursday, April 13, 2006

Twitching with indignation

Tiger Woods is in trouble.

When asked about his poor performance on the last day at Augusta, Woods replied: "I putted atrociously today. Once I got on the greens, I was a spaz."

This cause those afflicted with a certain form of cerebral palsy - spastic paralysis - to twitch in utter indignation.

Poor Tiger, completely unaware that "spaz" was politically incorrect, issued an apology.

Too bad. In a country where people are lining up to be offended, this sort of complaint should be met with not an apology, but a shocked silence followed by a derisive, "You can't be serious."

But Tiger apologized, giving yet another subset of a subset of whiners a victory.

And that's just retarded.


El Borak said...

I rather like Carlos Mencia's approach. He's got a guy with CP on his show who, while opening the envelope for a movie award, said "I'm shaking with anticipation... well, maybe it's not anticipation."

Carlos just looks at the camera, makes a typing mothion with his fingers, and says, "Start writing your hate mail."

El Borak said...

Mothion? Egads, maybe I'm developing a finger-lisp. I'm sure we could find a way to make fun of that... and someone to offend ;)

Shrubbery said...

That's up there with the 9-11 families who wanted the title of second LOTR movie, The Two Towers, changed because it was insensitive. They conveniently forgot the name was coined 50+ years ago by J.R.R. Tolkien.

Some of my fellow gimps and their misplaced indignation. I just cringe at their bizarre proclomations. Another one I heard was a gimp group has protested Million Dollar Baby because it supposedly supports the notion that gimps wanna die.

Shrubbery said...

New bumper sticker...

Hire the handicaped...they're fun to watch

Yet more ideas for bumper stickers...

If you can read this you're obviously not blind, like myself

I drive using the brail method

Mutants for nukes (has a smiley face with one eye in the middle of its forehead)

If you do it with a quad you'll never have to sleep in a wet spot

I won't spooge on your back or take money from your purse

I'll stop now Morg as I could go off all night. Tootles.

tc said...

So, I was in the office with the other two in the Triumverate (the three of us are in charge of the labs for all the Freshmen Chemisty Students)....

One of the companies had sent us a huuuuge poster that was black with a white drawing of a girl with dark glasses and a cane. The caption read, "Sarah didn't wear her lab goggles, now she doesn't have to."

Lauren, who should know better said, "That's just awful and offensive as hell."

Jesse said, "Uh, how would they know to complain? It's like making fun of the Amish on the radio."

I said, "Well, it's only funny til someone loses an eye" and pulled out my patch.

I LOVE Carlos Mencia.


Amber said...

I so agree with you on this. We've become so stupidly PC it's annoying as hell.

I watched one blogger get pounced on by some other bloggers recently because she blogged about some idiot driver who had cut her off that day and called him a "retard".

Oh my! The people that gave her grief for that in her comments! Too insensitive towards the mentally challenged, they said. And in that prissy, condescending lecturing tone that makes you want to vomit, too.

I commented that she should have written, "'tard" instead.

See, without the "re" in front of it, the whole meaning has changed.


It's all about the spelling. If she would have written, "He drove like a mentally challenged individual" it would have been just fine.

Right? ;-)

Morgan said...

Even that would have gotten her slammed, as the politically correct thing to do is further insult and marginalize mentally challenged people as angels of light who can do no wrong.

I have an autistic son who is the light of my life in so many ways.

You can read about him here:

But he's also a normal teenager, prone to angst and orneriness. We treat John like we treat the other kids and just make allowances for his differences.

I hate the way people patronize him when we're out.

I had one woman say to me, when I told her he was autistic, "Oh, so he's special?"

"He's no more special than my other kids," I replied.

She looked flustered. "Oh, then I suppose I should say he's exceptional."

Again I gently corrected her. "No." I said, "He's different but no more exceptional than the kids I have who weren't born autistic."

She looked extremely agitated and sputtered something else before stalking away with her son.

The exchange was totally retarded. And gay. I simply can't get on board with this whole PC thing.

Billy D said...

Up here, (New England) it's retahd.