Monday, March 20, 2006

Hello, Spring

I was a little disappointed to see it so misty and gray when I awoke this morning. In my mind, the first day of spring should be warm and sunny.

It's chilly out now and clouds hang heavy as far as the eye can see. Rain is predicted and then, more cold. Despite the change of seasons, it seems winter hasn't gotten the memo. But I couldn't let its official end go unmarked, so I set out with my camera this afternoon to photograph what early trinkets Lady Spring may have dropped as she saunters slowly across the land.

Under Elmira, our elm tree, a purple hyacinth is in full bloom. It's a beautiful flower, although I don't care for the heady smell of it; it's reminiscent of old lady's perfume. Elmira's branches are still devoid of leaf. Here is how she would look to you if you were to lay under her and look up. However, I don't recommend doing this if you have overly-attentive corgis, since they'll think your lying there means you've died and can only be revived with many enthusiastic licks to the face.

Our flower beds are still dormant. No signs yet of the coneflowers or the clemetis or the bleeding hearts. The Japanese ferns, the painted ferns and the vinca all made it through the winter. The creeping ivy, once it wakes, will again resume its methodical march up the front of our house. There are the tiniest infant buds all over my Lady Banks Rose, which is huge and could use good pruning. In a few weeks it will be covered in flowers. I did find this tiny little pansy had come to life. Isn't it pretty? I love pansies. They're happy flowers.

We have grand plans for the yard this spring - a bricked patio out front, a koi pond, a large bed full of palms, bananas and other tropical plants, and a wildlfower garden.

The corgis have nothing to do with spring, as they remain steadfast, constant and amusing all through the year. But today, foxy little Tula looked such the delicate lady and Sam - while shedding - looked such the dandy I couldn't resist including them in the things that cheered me up on this, the first gloomy day of spring.


Taylor said...

Pretty pics, Morgan. Your plans for the yard sound wonderful. I'm sure Tula and Sam will enjoy the koi pond.

Spring has brought us a lovely day today. Sunny, breezy, 67 degrees. I've got the windows and french doors wide open. And everything is popping out after all the rain we had this weekend. The St. Augustine went from winter brown to spring green almost overnight with the rains. I've got so much yardwork to do that I shouldn't even be sitting here blogging.

Morgan said...

Lucky you. In my walk around the yard this afternoon I saw so much that needs to be done, The dead remnants of the black-eyed susan vine need to be cut from the trellis, we could use a load of dirt in and mulch in one of the beds, the wild strawberries have invaded another and need to be thinned. The passion flower vine as taken over the aviary and needs to be severely cut back. I could work ten hours a day in this yard quite easily and still not have it quite to my liking.

I don't know if Sam and Tula will pay much mind to the koi. We have seven corgis altogether and they don't tend to be very interested something unless it runs from them. They they obsessively chase it, more from curiosity than any malice. Only one of our corgis is a chicken killer. Most of the time they just want to run them into a circle.

Taylor said...

Seems like you have a veritable paradise there, Morgan. And that you could use a hand with all that gardening. Seeing as how you're all for polygamy and I'm in need of a good husband... ;-)

You know, that opens up a whole lot more possibilities for us single gals. I would never go after a married man, but this whole polygamy thing puts a completely new spin on it... Of course, I'd only have to love him so-so as I could never share the love of my life with another woman. Petty woman thing. What can I say.

Morgan said...

I wouldn't say I'm all for polygamy. I do believe multiple marriages should be a personal choice, but then I believe the same of gay marriages.
I've gone back and forth about whether I could live in a polygamous relationship, not that it will ever happen, but it's fun to run the scenarios when I'm in a fanciful mood.
I've been corresponding with another blogger who's in a communal living situation. He's got a good setup, but he's an older guy and as I gently reminded him, he has the advantage of hindsight gained after years of trial and error.

I can see advantages and disadvantages. I've always thought it would be nice to have another woman around just because I like women (not sexually) but as company so long as they're intelligent and not catty. I'd have no problem sharing a man, but I would have problem sharing my children or having someone else mother them, which I consider my exclusive realm.

The downside for women, I think is that polygamy appeals a lot of the wrong kind of men who either want the setup for sex because they think they're God's gift to women or because they want as many women as possible supporting them while they sit around on their asses. Lazy men have never appealed to me, neither have vain ones.

The sad fact is, trying to find a good polygamous relationships would be fraught with more headaches than trying to find a monogamous one. In a monogamous relationship, at least you'd be able to tell the guy wanted to be with you for you. In a polygamous one, you might be chosen because he didn't have a brunette yet, or because you'd boost the family income enough for him to buy that new truck.

Taylor said...

All good points, Morgan. Being in such a setup would be so against to my personal instincts and personality that I'd prefer to stay alone if it came down to it.

I've known women who would happily accept another woman in the marriage only because after so many years they are so sick of the husbands that they see it as a way out of having to deal with them. Basically, they are no longer in love with their husbands and thus no longer care.

Morgan said...

Well, I've never met any women in polygamous relationships so I can't say, but from what I've read it's not so much about not loving their husband as it is either wanting more company in the relationship herself or being afraid he'll leave her if she doesn't acquiesce and accept the other partner. I think marriages can go a bit stale, even when partners still love each other, and a new person could be a blessing to both of them.

My thinking on this, though, is that a woman would have to be awfully isolated to need someone else for company. Larry's a great guy and good company, but I also have a great circle of friends in my life. I can't really imagine bringing anyone in unless it was a woman I already dearly knew and loved - a best friend type. But then, once she moved in the dynamic might totally change.

Taylor said...

I would think that the husband would be constantly refereeing between the women. Who would be the lady of the house? That is the woman's domain - seeing that all runs smoothly - cooking, cleaning, washing, etc. It may be good in theory but in practice would be a nightmare - not for all perhaps, but at least for some.

Only in extreme cases of survival due to a decimated male population would I see polygamy as a viable lifestyle. In that case, everyone would be in survival mode where the luxury of being happy or satsified would take a back seat.

In other words, I'm getting my own man and I'm not sharing him with anyone!

Morgan said...

I don't think it would appeal to that many people for the very reasons you state, which is why I think it should be legal. I don't often agree with Vox, but I agree with him that the government has no business defining marriage. Let the churches do that. After all, most people get married in the church. I think if churches did, then maybe more couples would see it as a holy union and act accordingly, whether they were gay, straight or in a multiple partner situation.

Hey, Taylor, I just posted a thing about my son. Is it showing up OK for you? Blogger's been giving me fits since Sunday. There's a technical glitch, apparently.

On VP and Shrub's site, there's no link to the comment section. And you must check out Fluffiest Blog in the West when you get a chance. I think you'll like it. ;-)

prettylady said...

I agree wholeheartedly with both of you girls, on virtually all of the polygamy points you just made. M. Scott Peck believes that open relationships are ultimately inevitable for people who truly grow to their capacities--but that most people never begin to reach that point. I have always found that people who pushed hardest for polyamory were those who followed the 'extract as much as possible, give as little as I can get away with' paradigm for relationships. And as I wrote to Morgan earlier, I have yet to meet the man who can cope with all that I have to offer, let alone needing a supplement.

Taylor said...

I have yet to meet the man who can cope with all that I have to offer

And the other half of the perfect equation: and one that I would want to happily, freely and without reservation give everything I have to offer.

Not all that are willing to cope with us, are we willing to give of ourselves.

Morgan said...

I don't know if I completely give all to my husband. I hold back some, I think. I am a woman starved for privacy and so I cultivate private things. I'm sensitive to having him look over my shoulder if I'm writing a letter or an email, don't like his going through my personal things without my express permission and am prone to demand time away when I need it.
I'd think in a polygamous relationship, unless you had some huge, sprawling compound or English manor, it would be difficult to have your own space. I mean, I like *silence*. I can get that if the kids are in bed at night. But I think I'd go mad if I wanted silence and could still hear someone talking or playing the radio in the next room. If the only way I could get peace and quiet would be to leave my own house, I'd be a grumpy woman indeed.

prettylady said...

Morgan, you can have your privacy and still "give all"--in fact, taking care of oneself is a prerequisite for giving as much as is appropriate. Otherwise you burn down to a nub.

And Taylor, I am with you on that. It's not so much that I'm not willing to give--it's that most people neither have sufficient receptors, nor are they capable of giving back in kind. Often I have felt like my own private one-woman show, when what I really want and need is a collaboration.

Taylor said...

I don't consider wanting privacy as holding back. It's just wanting privacy. I'm the same way. If I couldn't be left alone with my thoughts every now and then, I'd be less than amiable.

Well, PL just said it, but I'll post it anyway.

Taylor said...

what I really want and need is a collaboration.

It is when that collaboration exists that the sum is greater than its parts. Otherwise, why bother with it? If I can't be more with a man than I am by myself, why would I want to be with him?

Morgan said...

"what I really want and need is a collaboration."

Amen. That's one of the reasons I'm glad I married a guy with whom I have mutual interests but also some separate ones.

I've seen women who - upon meeting a guy - immediately adopt their interest. If they guy is an art enthusiast, the woman suddenly becomes one. If he's a sports fan, she starts going with him to games even if she's bored silly.

I've always made it abudantly clear to Larry that while I support him in all his interests, I'm not going to adopt them unless I feel an interest. I don't like pretending to enjoy something and he needs some time away from me to do his own thing. And vice versa.

And I don't like to be micromanaged. I come to him often for advice and input but can't stand having anyone feel compelled to come in and "save me" or take over. At an earlier point in my life that appealed to me, but then I grew up.

Mia said...


Not to change the subject BUT, cute corgis! They always make me think of Queen Elizabeth. Did you happen to read the tongue-n-cheek editorial in The New Yorker about the Queen consulting her corgis about Camilla? Twas a hoot.

Morgan said...

No, Mia, I missed that! I'll have to search for it. I love corgi humor. ;-)